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Disorganzied: Feb 2nd, 2009
Jessica Alba took on Bill O’Reilly last week calling him an “a-hole” and thus getting Bill to jab back. We love it when she is right.
Sir Richard Branson received the week’s best complaint letter from a loyal customer who wouldn’t eat what he was shoveling.
And finally Obama slapped Citibank for its latest reward to its brass for tanking the US economy, a modest $50 million jet.
[ Photo licensed under Creative Commons Attribution 2.0 License by pinguino k at http://www.flickr.com/photos/44159829@N00/1868145620 ]
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Disorganized: Jan 12th, 2009
The seemingly never-ending Minnesota Senate race has transformed into a full-on legal dustup as perpetual windbag Al Franken (seriously, can we look into using this guy’s mouth as a source of green energy?) prepares to defend his 225-vote lead against extremely boring (and Republican) incumbent Norm Coleman in court. We think the whole thing might be a sick, delusional joke by Franken to create the longest SNL sketch in history.
In other celebrity news no one should care about, Damon Dash, the man behind Jay-Z and (cough cough) Victoria Beckham’s illustrious music careers, has been battling with ex-girlfriend Linda Williams over their son’s education. Williams claims that 18-year-old “Boogie” left her Long Island residence in early December to live with Papa and hasn’t been to school since. But Mr. Dash is all “Chill out you crazy bird. Boog’s just hangin’ until Christmas break is over.” (Of course, he did not actually say this verbatim, but we’re sure something very similar is running through his mind.) However, according to Page Six, the Boogster accompanied his dad to a New Year’s Eve DJ event at the Plumm nightclub… so maybe it’s the School of Hard Knocks he’ll be attending this semester? Either way we think Mom should just get off her son’s jock. The kid’s 18. What do you expect him to do? At least Dad’s around to make sure he’s not frothing at the mouth when 1 AM rolls around.
(No Ratings Yet) Loading ...Disorganized: Jan 5th, 2008
The new year means new blood, but the final days of 2008 still had some lingering and chuckle-worthy surprises in store before the ball dropped. Do you remember Tiffany Shepherd, that teacher from Florida who was fired last year because she moonlighted on a charter boat? Well, Ms. Shepherd must’ve finally hit rock bottom last week as she threatened to fight her ex-boyfriend’s new, 22-year-old gal via text message and voice mail over the course of a month.
Old Man Christmas had one final tricky trick up his sleeve and, s*%thoused on egg nog, decided it would be funny to chuck a discarded Christmas tree into a Ford in New Hampshire. Strong winter gusts propelled the Yuletide missile into the car’s grill, and even the fuzz thought it was funny when the driver called them to report what happened. “The Christmas tree flew out and attacked him,” said the police department’s spokesperson.
(No Ratings Yet) Loading ...Disorganized: Dec 29th, 2008
Waste-of-space Lindsay Lohan has her panties all in a bunch over her father saying he is “sickened” by what he read about Linday’s girlfriend, Samantha Ronson, in a recent In Touch Weekly expose. How is it possible that three people without any discernable talents are flourishing in this quagmire of an economy? We should give them to China as collateral.
Last week’s lead-up to Christmas wasn’t spared of violent cheer. Exhibit A is a guy in California who had to be quelled with a stun gun after biting off a chunk of his neighbor’s cheek. Then, a few days later, this lovely couple threw each other down the stairs after the 26-year-old hubby got miffed when his grandparents didn’t take his request for a $1,000 remote-controlled airplane seriously. Then his wife gifted him with a Nintendo Wii and all hell broke loose. Jolly times, indeed.
(No Ratings Yet) Loading ...Disorganized: Dec 8th, 2008
It looks like things in Athens fell off the ol’ Greek saddle this past weekend when large-scale riots broke out after a 15-year-old boy was shot and killed by a cop. Greece has been an incubator for discontent the past few years as the gap between the rich (old people) and the poor (young people) rapidly widened. Thousands of youths hit the streets with Molotov cocktails, facemasks, and really shitty attitudes, injuring police officers and civilians alike. The violence has quickly spread throughout the country and the higher-ups appear to be a twitch away from filling their drawers with foam any time they try to say something coherent to the media about the situation. It looks like a truce was brokered… for now.
(No Ratings Yet) Loading ...Disorganized: Dec 1st, 2008
Last week’s Black Friday summoned the truly black-hearted. Of course, minor fisticuffs happen every year because people who wake up at 2 AM to get 25% off Elmo Live are innately depraved and homicidal. But swirl in the fact that our economy is a giant flaming bag of dog shit and you’ve got yourself the bloodiest round of post-Thanksgiving sales ever.
Highlights included two guys who shot and killed each other at a Toys “R” Us, an unlucky Wal-Mart employee who was flattened by a stampede of soulless bargain hunters, and in-store footage of sociopaths wrestling over an X-box 360 like they were all just bitten by zombies and it was the last dose of vaccine on the scorched earth.
(No Ratings Yet) Loading ...Disorganized: Nov 24th, 2008
So apparently the poo-dreaded Jason Momoa who was on Baywatch and is currently starring in Stargate: Atlantis got into a little bar fight over the weekend. He got such a whomping that his face now needs plastic. Say goodbye to your career as an “x-treme” pretty boy, bud.
It must be semi-famous-scumbags-with-dreadlocks-in-bar-room-brawls week or something, because over the weekend dread-head Australian cricket star Andrew Symonds got into some fisticuffs with a drunk guy at a Brisbane pub. Symonds was already on probation with Cricket Australia and this just might send him over the edge. He says the other guy started it but, even if he’s lying, we guarantee he can afford a better lawyer.
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