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Week In Review
Disorganzied: Feb 2nd, 2009
Jessica Alba took on Bill O’Reilly last week calling him an “a-hole” and thus getting Bill to jab back. We love it when she is right.
Sir Richard Branson received the week’s best complaint letter from a loyal customer who wouldn’t eat what he was shoveling.
And finally Obama slapped Citibank for its latest reward to its brass for tanking the US economy, a modest $50 million jet.
[ Photo licensed under Creative Commons Attribution 2.0 License by pinguino k at http://www.flickr.com/photos/44159829@N00/1868145620 ]
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Organized: Feb 2nd, 2009
Santonio Holmes, along with The AFC Champion Pittsburgh Steelers, defeated Larry Fitzgerald and the NFC Champion Arizona Cardinals with a touchdown in the final minute of the game. The 27 to 23 final score gave Pittsburgh its sixth title and the record for most Super Bowl wins, surpassing both the San Francisco 49ers and Dallas Cowboys’ total of five.
[ Photo licensed under Creative Commons Attribution 2.0 License by pkeleher at http://www.flickr.com/photos/pkeleher/53089127 ]
(No Ratings Yet) Loading ...Disorganized: Jan 12th, 2009
The seemingly never-ending Minnesota Senate race has transformed into a full-on legal dustup as perpetual windbag Al Franken (seriously, can we look into using this guy’s mouth as a source of green energy?) prepares to defend his 225-vote lead against extremely boring (and Republican) incumbent Norm Coleman in court. We think the whole thing might be a sick, delusional joke by Franken to create the longest SNL sketch in history.
In other celebrity news no one should care about, Damon Dash, the man behind Jay-Z and (cough cough) Victoria Beckham’s illustrious music careers, has been battling with ex-girlfriend Linda Williams over their son’s education. Williams claims that 18-year-old “Boogie” left her Long Island residence in early December to live with Papa and hasn’t been to school since. But Mr. Dash is all “Chill out you crazy bird. Boog’s just hangin’ until Christmas break is over.” (Of course, he did not actually say this verbatim, but we’re sure something very similar is running through his mind.) However, according to Page Six, the Boogster accompanied his dad to a New Year’s Eve DJ event at the Plumm nightclub… so maybe it’s the School of Hard Knocks he’ll be attending this semester? Either way we think Mom should just get off her son’s jock. The kid’s 18. What do you expect him to do? At least Dad’s around to make sure he’s not frothing at the mouth when 1 AM rolls around.
(No Ratings Yet) Loading ...Organized: Jan 12th, 2009
Unless you’ve been living in a coffin for the past week, by now you are well aware of the University of Florida’s victory over Oklahoma for the BCS National Championship. A lot of people love (and hate) Tim Tebow right now, but it appears he isn’t finished kicking ass and taking names for God as he announced yesterday that he will be returning for his senior year instead of giving the NFL a whirl.
There have been some weird rumblings within the administrative bowels of the WWE this week. It looks like grown men in tights and funny boots aren’t immune to the credit crunch–just today the biggest name in wrestling announced they were cutting their staff by 10%. And although we’re not positive it’s directly related, it appears Linda McMahon has picked up a bit of side work moonlighting as an arbiter of our children’s futures. Somehow, someway the WWE CEO was appointed to the 11-member Board of Education in Stamford, Connecticut. Luckily, none of this has really affected the action inside the ring (apart from a few no-name wrestlers being canned), and last week Undertaker Tombstoned Shelton Benjamin to victory while Triple H was the winner of two Triple Jeopardy matches before succumbing to the considerable girth of Big Show.
[ Photo licensed under Creative Commons Attribution ShareAlike 2.0 License by minds-eye at http://flickr.com/photos/36703550@N00/2133330966 ]
(No Ratings Yet) Loading ...Disorganized: Jan 5th, 2008
The new year means new blood, but the final days of 2008 still had some lingering and chuckle-worthy surprises in store before the ball dropped. Do you remember Tiffany Shepherd, that teacher from Florida who was fired last year because she moonlighted on a charter boat? Well, Ms. Shepherd must’ve finally hit rock bottom last week as she threatened to fight her ex-boyfriend’s new, 22-year-old gal via text message and voice mail over the course of a month.
Old Man Christmas had one final tricky trick up his sleeve and, s*%thoused on egg nog, decided it would be funny to chuck a discarded Christmas tree into a Ford in New Hampshire. Strong winter gusts propelled the Yuletide missile into the car’s grill, and even the fuzz thought it was funny when the driver called them to report what happened. “The Christmas tree flew out and attacked him,” said the police department’s spokesperson.
(No Ratings Yet) Loading ...Organized: Jan 5th, 2009
We hope you’ve had a great new year thus far, at least better than Chilean soccer player Mauricio Pinilla and Inter Milan midfielder Luis Jimenez. The two duked it out in a nightclub last week, and some incredibly brilliant geniuses are guessing the fight started because Jiminez’s model wife Maria Jose Lopez allegedly had a tryst with Mauricio last year. From the looks of things she’s definitely worth a black eye or two.
In other new of the brutal, the Dallas Stars’ Zack Stortini and the Krys Barch of the Oilers went the distance over the weekend, pounding the shit out of each other on the ice for just over a minute. There’s really nothing else to say other than watch the video now.
You better start paying close attention to the impending onslaught of pigskin because the NFL playoffs are really heating up and things could get beautifully ugly. Philadelphia’s win over the Vikings might’ve been a belated holiday miracle, but people are too distracted to give a damn about stuff like that when superhuman madmen are scoring 71-yard touchdowns in the fourth quarter.
(2 votes) Loading ...Disorganized: Dec 29th, 2008
Waste-of-space Lindsay Lohan has her panties all in a bunch over her father saying he is “sickened” by what he read about Linday’s girlfriend, Samantha Ronson, in a recent In Touch Weekly expose. How is it possible that three people without any discernable talents are flourishing in this quagmire of an economy? We should give them to China as collateral.
Last week’s lead-up to Christmas wasn’t spared of violent cheer. Exhibit A is a guy in California who had to be quelled with a stun gun after biting off a chunk of his neighbor’s cheek. Then, a few days later, this lovely couple threw each other down the stairs after the 26-year-old hubby got miffed when his grandparents didn’t take his request for a $1,000 remote-controlled airplane seriously. Then his wife gifted him with a Nintendo Wii and all hell broke loose. Jolly times, indeed.
(No Ratings Yet) Loading ...Organized: Dec 29th, 2008
On Sunday the Jets were forced to pack it in for the year as Miami’s 24-17 victory advanced them to the playoffs and solidified their incredible mid-season turnaround. The only question that still lingers is if Bret Favre and his bum shoulder will retire from football to begin a new career as a cheesemaker in Wisconsin. We hope he does, and we also hope they make a reality show out of it.
In other news of the skull-cracking variety, WWE champion Jeff Hardy retained his title in a match against Big Show on last week’s WWE SmackDown. Is it just us or is Big Show really looking like a real tub of lard these days? Maybe it was too much country ham over the holidays?
UFC 92 was a night of highly anticipated fights that kind of ended with a whimper even though it resulted in two brand-spanking new champs. The biggest upset of the night was “Sugar” Rashad Evans’s victory over the seemingly invincible Forrest Griffin for the Light Heavyweight Championship belt.
(No Ratings Yet) Loading ...Organized: Dec 15th, 2008
Watching football this week was like riding a three-legged turtle down Boring Ave. in Yawnsville, USA, so let’s just get right to what mattered: UFC. On Saturday the Las Vegas sweet spot Pearl at the Palms played host to the The Ultimate Fighter: Team Nogueira vs Team Mir finale. It was a great day for face-beatings and split shins for interim UFC heavyweight champion Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira’s posse. Both Efrain Escudero and Ryan Bader kept their perfect records and signed pretty decent deals with the UFC. The only thing that could be more entertaining would be if Sean Avery actually got canned from the Dallas Stars for referring to his ex-girlfriend as his “sloppy seconds” on national TV. Oh, wait. That did happen. Haha.
(No Ratings Yet) Loading ...Disorganized: Dec 8th, 2008
It looks like things in Athens fell off the ol’ Greek saddle this past weekend when large-scale riots broke out after a 15-year-old boy was shot and killed by a cop. Greece has been an incubator for discontent the past few years as the gap between the rich (old people) and the poor (young people) rapidly widened. Thousands of youths hit the streets with Molotov cocktails, facemasks, and really shitty attitudes, injuring police officers and civilians alike. The violence has quickly spread throughout the country and the higher-ups appear to be a twitch away from filling their drawers with foam any time they try to say something coherent to the media about the situation. It looks like a truce was brokered… for now.
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